here comes a regular

I can feel a really familiar sort of unhappiness creeping back into my life and it sucks. I just want to be alone all the time. It’s sort of fun to do stuff until the booze wears off and then I just feel awful and want to be sleeping.

Maybe this is the normal flipside of having a severely anxious couple of weeks preceding today. I still feel the same dread, but it’s less worrisome and more heavy. I have to live with this forever. I can’t ever get out of my head and there’s no one that can tell me how. So I talk about it on the internet to anyone that will listen (I don’t think anybody even reads this anymore) and sound like a goddamn seventeen year old bitching about my first world problems but I keep hoping somebody can tell me how to get the fuck away from myself for ten minutes.

It’s even worse that everybody around me thinks it’s cute and funny that I’m so miserable, as if this is my only socially redeeming characteristic.

I was fine last year. Maybe this is an indication that I should never be in school again.