+/- 11/19/11-11/20/11

- yesterday morning, went to student health on a whim about my weird shoulder pain/numbness and the nurse practitioner thought i have SHINGLES. needless to say i think she is wrong. still, weiiiiiird time.

+ got some work done

- panic attacks

+++ serious girl time (and several pitchers of delicious whiskey sours)

- U St is goddamn awful on saturday night - some yuppie couple literally stole a cab from me!

- it’s now 11:40 am on Sunday and i’ve already had a panic attack

- sooooo worried about everything

+ if i find full-time work after i leave school, and if bf gets a job for the summer/beyond, we are going to try to adopt a cat :)

- stats lab continually closed

+/- lunch with coworker/overseer tomorrow; i plan to tell her that i am quitting school

+ considering americorps

+/- would be better if my current job would just bring me on full time

- shoulder is worrying me irrationally

+ everything is MOST LIKELY going to be fine

+ close to going home for thanksgiving

+/- 11/18/11 

+/- working for the better part of the day at a board meeting in an internetless basement

+/- wearing heels was not THAT uncomfortable

+ first really, truly cold day of the fall

+ like my job

- procrastinating terribly

- hate school, wish it were over

+ bf cooking tonight :)

+ jaw swelling going down

+ candy apple grey

+ plans to get up early and work tomorrow

+ i’m basically just looking forward to the hot coffee

+/- 11/17/11

+ jazzed on my new idea, doing Americorps

- still can’t wait to quit school/for the semester to be over

- worried about persistent swelling in my jaw

+/- want a dog or a cat in the worst way

+ TACO NACHT

- nauseating amount of homework to be doing

- professor being a dick about meeting with me

+/- doing nothing at work

- no coffee at work

- econ tonight :(

+ exciting volunteer things

+ home next week

- rearranging my schedule to go home next week

+ laura, michelle, chili cheese fries last night

+ fun weekend plans

+/- board meeting tomorrow (i have to dress up)

here comes a regular

I can feel a really familiar sort of unhappiness creeping back into my life and it sucks. I just want to be alone all the time. It’s sort of fun to do stuff until the booze wears off and then I just feel awful and want to be sleeping.

Maybe this is the normal flipside of having a severely anxious couple of weeks preceding today. I still feel the same dread, but it’s less worrisome and more heavy. I have to live with this forever. I can’t ever get out of my head and there’s no one that can tell me how. So I talk about it on the internet to anyone that will listen (I don’t think anybody even reads this anymore) and sound like a goddamn seventeen year old bitching about my first world problems but I keep hoping somebody can tell me how to get the fuck away from myself for ten minutes.

It’s even worse that everybody around me thinks it’s cute and funny that I’m so miserable, as if this is my only socially redeeming characteristic.

I was fine last year. Maybe this is an indication that I should never be in school again.

(Source: malloryoatmeal)

this is what bf and i are like on weekend mornings. i am the right bunny.

(Source: reflectivemoons)

0equalz2:

She calls it a mayonegg.

This needs to be recorded somewhere

My boyfriend’s text message dispatches from NYC, where he is right now for terrible law firm interviews:

• “In the heart of darkness: times square”
• “I am at a yuppie bar because i don’t care”
• “I am a terrible image right now: suit, tie, dumb bar, disregard for price”
• “Drunk dude just fell over and slurred: ‘oh shit. I need to be back at work. I SHOULD HAVE BEEN BACK AT WORK FOUR HOURS AGO’”
• “Now stealing cigarettes from other patrons”
• “He is ‘just saying’ a lot of stuff”
• “He takes what he can get”
• “He attributes his drinking problem to ‘pure alcoholism’”

+/- 8/15/2011

+ beach this past weekend

+/- first day of work today and it was really strange

- had nothing to do

- arrived at the office long before anybody else

- don’t have keys/a functional login for the computer/ANYTHING

+ played a lot of tetris

- soooo laaaaazy and still need to do so much

+ luckily work will probably be slow tomorrow, too, so i can get my shit/to-do list together then!

Ugh, Mother Jones

Why have you sucked so FUCKING MUCH recently?

I don’t care that Rick Perry ate a corn dog (LOLOLZORZ IT LOOKS KIND OF LIKE A DICK). Then there was this, which I shouldn’t have to point out as a SHITTY YUCKY PIECE OF WRITING but somehow I do, and then there was the time one of your dumb columnists printed a dumb thing about trap-neuter-return.

I want to like you, Mother Jones, but it’s just that you suck so terribly and so frequently that I just can’t.